When the sun rises and sets with you

It's been such a long week, I can't begin to write about how it transpired. In the meantime, I'd like to share with you this music video that I've heard and seen weeks ago and every time I encounter it, it never fails to make me cry.

It was written and performed by one of my favorite artists, AJ Rafael, whose songs I've grown to love ever since I first heard them back in freshman year. This Filipino's a genius with words so I'd rather let him explain the real story behind the final product:

My Godfather, "Kuya" Frank, passed away last October after a 4-year long battle with cancer and it struck a familiar feeling in my gut. My Dad passed away when I was 10 and the reailty of losing another father figure really hit me hard.

I wrote this song not about a death or losing someone to an illness, but about wanting to be with someone so bad that you couldn't go another day without them--but this song spoke differently to my Kuya Frank's wife Ate Rhea. She told me that she listened to this song as if it was Kuya Frank singing to her, fighting for her, and wanting to be there for her through all of this. Thus, the original concept for this video was born and it stuck in my head--and I pray that this video helps you realize that you are not alone in your struggle, whether it is you or a loved one going through it.

Don't forget to let your loved ones know that you love them... We never know what tomorrow might bring.

More stories soon, I'm so tired from the two-hour midterm exams we had earlier. But all is well!

ISFJ

It didn't come to me as a surprise either! It's been about two years since I took the longer version of this Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test and the results are still the same. Good to know that some things never change.

Click to enlarge!

In other news, exams went well. I guess. Or so I think. I hope I did okay.

Never forget who you are

Call me boring but I was never fond of action films. Growing up, the only movies I wanted to watch fall under the romantic comedy (or drama, sometimes) category—making suspense, horror, and action completely out of the picture. I was too safe a girl; even my movie choices were limited to those that have happy endings. So you wouldn’t imagine my reaction when we were asked to watch and write a reflection paper on Colombiana.

Because of my ignorant and naïve nature though, I didn’t even know what it was about. I was too busy with my other classes that I didn’t allot some time to take a glimpse at the movie trailer. I thought it was going to be yet another tear-jerker since those kinds would be (obviously) relevant to our class. But when a friend of mine who recently watched the movie in the cinema addressed the lead character as “killer,” my expectations were proven to be wrong. Although I wouldn’t want to see the film for myself, I had to and so I did.

It wasn’t that bad, to tell you the truth. But I believe it could’ve been better. I honestly wouldn’t want to watch this movie if it weren’t a requirement. I was predisposed to not like action films because they promote violence in a long span of an hour and thirty minutes to two hours. It just wasn’t my cup of tea. Anything that involves the police or the FBI only means a lot of complications a romantic comedy fan like me can’t exactly understand. If I had the chance to review it, I could’ve taken a huge amount of points off because of the excessive time allotment for gunshots and bombings. The plot and storyline was simple enough: a girl witnessed and so wants to avenge her parents’ death. I wished they left it at that.

But before I get ahead of myself, there were some points I would like to focus on. First would be the family dynamics in the film. At an early age of nine, Cataleya witnessed how her parents were killed by one of the men of her father’s boss. Cataleya’s dad, Fabio, decided to leave his life of drug smuggling but his boss Don Luis, despite giving him his blessing and wishing him well, wanted him killed. Fully aware of his coming demise, Fabio planned to flee and bring his family with him. As I’ve observed, Cataleya was trained well to survive in case something bad happens. She was equipped and knowledgeable on what to do next. Fortunately, she was able to escape the hands of her parents’ murderers. She travelled all the way from Columbia to US to live with her tiyo Emilio and her grandmother. They became her family from then on.

She was particularly close to her uncle; he brought her to school and then taught her to be a killer. She learned everything she could while living under their roof. In the same way as Cataleya’s parents died, her tiyo’s son was also killed. This event made him want to avenge his son—just like how, in years later, Cataleya too would try to avenge her parents. She worked as her uncle’s hitman and at the same time finding a way to avenge her parents’ death. To date she killed 23 people.

By the end of the movie, we see Cataleya getting on a bus for an unknown destination. The police weren’t able to catch her and since she has already gotten her revenge and killed the people involved in her parent’s death, I believe she might consider starting over. She might possibly stop being a killer. Besides, her “boyfriend” Danny, who doesn’t even know anything about her, claims that he loves her. At least she has something to look forward to in her “new life.”

Throughout the course of the film, what really struck me most was that Cataleya always had an escape plan. Even at an unguarded territory and in places she has never been to, she knows how to work her way through and around it. She has been taught well to be able to develop those skills. Unfortunately, this made me see the film as pure fiction because in reality, we don’t really have escape plans—or at least not all of us are fully aware of it. She was just lucky to have them.

Also, I know growing up without parents and without knowing what will happen to you as you travel across the world into the place where your dad said you’ll be safe in is pretty tough, but Cataleya didn’t show a hint of fear or sadness only until she was reunited with her tiyo. This inability to feel was further developed in her growing years and was evident in her acts of killing and murder.

Perhaps another lesson I got from the movie was that we should allow children to grieve and express themselves. Parents should be able to guide them through their emotions day-by-day, instead of just letting them do it by themselves. That way, hidden anger would be well understood. Tiyo didn’t know about Cataleya’s other agenda (killing people who took part in the death of her parents) until it was published on newspapers. This made him very angry and disappointed. Through this, I have seen that open communication is a must for every family and group. We’ll never know what’s going on in the minds of others unless we engage in conversations with them and try to address these problems.

And finally, for my last point, I have learned in the film that traumatic experiences from childhood really, for most people, stay and change the way they view life. Sometimes these events can even be the motive to do other things, evidently seen in Cataleya’s life. If not guided and taught appropriately, children will grow up not knowing right from wrong. I guess I’m very much thankful that despite the number of trails and challenges I’ve faced in my life, my family and friends have been very supportive and helped me cope with those undertakings. I know that I’ll have a good life in the future because I have been taught well while I was growing up.

Two of a kind

If my twin sister Karina dies...

Whenever people find out that I have a twin sister, they always ask me what it’s like. Their questions range from the usual “How does it feel to have and be a twin?” to the most bizarre (but still very common) “When she gets sick, do you get sick as well?” or simply put “Do you feel a certain kind of sadness when she does?” I’d answer them as honestly as I could—the obvious and expected no to the weird questions and the countless “I don’t knows” to the usual ones.

To tell you quite frankly, I can’t explain what life is like having a twin sister. Perhaps it’s due to the very fact that it’s the only life I have. Everything I do is with her. We had the same set of clothes, friends, rooms, and things growing up. I don’t even say “I” as much as I say “we.” I barely say “I live in…” but “We live in...” We’re a buy-one take-one kind of thing. We’re a team.

It’s funny though, to be asked what would happen if she dies *knocks on wood* or if I never had a twin. It had been something I’ve been asking myself since we were little kids. I don’t get it; people want to have twin children or be a twin themselves when they fail to understand how being one isn’t as fun as they expect it to be.

You see, to have a prettier, smarter and nicer sister like Karina isn’t all highs. Being the lesser twin has been a life-long challenge for me. I always have to prove that I too can be as good or maybe even better than her. Whatever she does, I have to do twice as hard. It’s as if her very existence is a threat to mine. And it becomes frustrating as each day passes because people has undying love of a habit to compare us.

Good thing we (mostly I) surpassed the comparisons when we reached fifth grade (maybe because of the separation of our parents). Our bond got stronger; we became the best of friends and promised to help our mom with taking care of our family.

All the while I thought it would be us, together forever, but that changed when she went on her Junior Term Abroad in Singapore for five months. Prior to her trip, the longest time I haven’t been with her was a week. So her JTA posed another problem: I had to learn how to do things on my own and finally move at my own pace. I must admit it was really hard for me because I have been very dependent on my sister. But I guess at some point I just have to grow up, and this was the perfect opportunity.

In the event that she dies, it would be sad, to say the least. Since we don’t really live with our family for four years now because of college, her passing would greatly affect me compared to our other siblings. It’s certain that I would grieve for her everyday. Despite that, her death wouldn’t stop me from pursuing our goal of helping our family. I’m pretty sure my sister would want me to do so. Still she would be my motive, my inspiration to do things. She may not know it but I think she’s my role model of some sorts. Only that, I can and will be my own person.

Yes, my life as a twin may be difficult. But it has taught me a lot of things I know I won’t be able to if I was a singleton. Besides, I wouldn’t have an instant best friend (and occasional worst enemy) if I wasn’t one. With that, I probably wouldn’t have my life any other way.

Strategies and whatnots

You might have to learn a thing or two about living.

Even from horror movies. Because, well, life can be pretty scary too, but we get by.